Could I help save Portsmouth FC? [General]
07:02pm GMT, 4 Mar 2010

At least one person thinks so:

Date: Thu, 04 Mar 2010 11:07:33 H0600
Subject: SOS [PORTSMOUTH FC}
To: website@darkskills.org.uk
From: James Cox 

Good Day,
         My name is James cox kennedy,the chairman of Cox enterprise & Cox
communications Incorporation.I was reading a news about a football club
in england {PORTSMOUTH FC} and to my understanding it seems the club is 
about to go into administration but i have made some enquiries about the 
club but it seems they are not ready to deal with americans but i am very 
interested in purchasing this  club i have the funds but im just looking 
for a  good british business man/woman that can be my frontperson on this
deal ,we will sign an agreement through our lawyers before i put my money
down on this and everything else will be taking care of,Please get back
to me as soon as possible if you are interested.
James Cox Kennedy.
Cox communications,
Chairman,
ww2.cox.com
speak2cox@gmail.com
+1-404-547-8736
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_C._Kennedy

Dear absentee [General]
12:04am BST, 28 Aug 2009

Dear absentee,

Thank you for gracing me with an automated response giving me the awesome news that you are on holiday/sabbatical/raising your offspring/have left the company. I would like to reassure you that the experience was in no way diminished by the receipt of 23 similar messages from other people in reply to the same email.

I'd like to suggest some additional things that you might want to add to your away message next time you jet off to the Algarve/have a long posh-sounding holiday/get knocked up/resign/get sacked.

• If this automated away message raises any tickets in your ticketing system, then please close them. Then you might want to consider spending a fruitless time trying to work out how to filter out away messages from every email system currently known to man.
• If this away message happens to cause a mail loop, you might want to fix it before it generates, say, 500 emails.
• There's every chance, of course, that I am actually in the office and have forgotten to unset my away message. In which case, please feel free to ignore this message.
• If it's that bloody important, please phone.

Address handling deficits [General]
12:21pm BST, 10 Apr 2009

Dear web developers and people who commission websites aimed at a UK audience,

It would make my life easier if everyone who created forms for entering postal addresses on websites spent some time thinking about where people actually live. Many of you seem to think that we all live in addresses that look this:

22 Acacia Avenue
Smalltown
Burbshire
XX9 9ZZ

This is simply not the case.

A few specific tips for people to consider:

• In common with most of the 7.5 million residents of London, I do not live in a county. Do not make county a mandatory field. Do not add "Greater London" to the selection of values. It isn't a county, it's a workaround for your broken assumptions about the way the UK is administered.
• Technically, the residents of Portsmouth, Southampton and other unitary authorities do not live in a county either and have not done since 1992. I repeat, do not make county a mandatory field.
• For much of my time in London, I have lived in houses converted into flats. These are typically distinguished by number or letter. Please have some facility for entering the flat number or letter. Please do not only have a field for house number and then validate that it only contains a single number and no letters. Living in the same building as someone does not imply that I would like to share my post with them.
• Postcodes are more complicated than you think. Do not write your own postcode validation rules. "EC1R 3ER" is a valid postcode. If you choose to use someone else's validation rules, please ensure that you have some way of finding out when the Royal Mail issues new postcodes which break the existing validation rules.
• If the postcode I enter is not in your database of postcodes, it might mean that it is a new postcode that hasn't made it into your database yet. You are updating your postcode database, right? Please allow me to enter a postcode that isn't in your database, after warning me.

In essence, please do not waste my time trying to validate that my address adheres to your fundamentally broken view of the way the UK works.

Update: Fixed a typo.

2008 in review [General]
03:35am GMT, 3 Jan 2009

A bumper blog post to make up for a year of indolence.

January

An early highlight: visiting Iain in California. We didn't manage to surprise him — he'd heard we were coming a day or two beforehand — and a 12 hour flight, 8 hour time difference and a 6 hour drive aren't the best preparation for a few days skiing. It was well worth it, though. Some great snow and great company in Mammoth, a trip through Death Valley and a few days in LA made a memorable week.

February

At work, it was the biggest launch of the R2 rollout project. The vast majority of the news content on the site was migrated onto our new platform, a significant increase in both content size and traffic. The weekend wasn't without its excitement; we had some significant database stability issues which were not directly related to the launch, but the team took them all in their stride.

That was also the weekend when Sally and I unfortunately split up. I found myself living in Tooting with Tom "for a few weeks, until I find a place of my own."

FOSDEM was its customary mix of both engaging and disastrous lectures, excellent ideas, chance meetings with interesting people and catching up with friends over some serious Belgian beer. For some reason we found ourselves in the curry house again. It's becoming a very odd tradition.

March

Still living in Tooting with Tom and showing no signs of going anywhere else. Being gently re-introduced into the joys of listening to trance in darkened clubs until sun-up. A few weeks of commuting on the Northern Line had allowed me to turn off my sense of smell at will.

April

By April I was settled in Tooting. While Tom was away in Sri Lanka, I finally found my own place: a one bedroom house, only 50 metres around the corner, in a street so quiet it's hard to believe you're in London. My week of property hunting coincided with the arrival of my niece, Chloe.

Met up with some old friends at the UKUUG Spring Conference and the Ubuntu Hardy release party.

May

A reasonably uneventful month. I helped Andy rack his new server and we heard the first death rattles from the car on the way around the M25 to Telehouse. The novelty of having a washing machine with a timer and a dishwasher kept me entertained for most of the month. When I wasn't chuckling to myself about this.

June

Started brightly with a chance to catch up with old friends at the Wychwood Festival. Continued well, with 8 days windsurfing in El Tur with 13 other assorted non-gybers, cruelly, but accurately dubbed the Pathetic Sharks (after the Viz comic strip). Gybing, for those who don't windsurf, is one method of turning the board around and is surprisingly difficult to learn. My previous attempts were something between a slow motion fit and arthritic break-dancing. Jim Collis was able to coax much improvement out of all of us.

The shock of spending days in the sun and the local food, gut fauna and (probably most significantly) beer mounted a combined attack on my body, all in a town which has a strain of Cholera named after it. Nevertheless, I came home much healthier than when I departed and discovered that I do have abdominal muscles after all. Haven't seen them since.

July

Nothing too exciting. OpenTech was a great one day event; I'd definitely go again. I discovered the joys of the Tooting Bec Lido and ran the Chase Corporate Challenge in my slowest time ever.

August

The weather was the filthiest I've seen it for a long time, we spent days gale-bound in a harbour too small and crowded to windsurf; it was still a great sailing holiday around Brittany with Mum, Dad, Gail, Ella and Chloe.

Kilos of bread fed to the seagulls	>10
Number of times caught in a 40 knot squall with full sail up	1
Occasions on which wind instantly died from near-gale to gentle breeze once I'd rigged my windsurfing kit	3
Visits to top of mast to replace main halyard	2
Days on which wind was forecast to ease the following day	14
Days on which wind really was significantly less than on previous day	3

September

The howling winds again coincided with the Fat Face Night Windsurf, making it a tremendous spectator event, especially if you enjoyed watching a lesson being meted out by the vicious shorebreak. But whose idea was it to get Jaegermeister to sponsor it and why did I decide to hoover up the surplus free samples?

This was also the month when Alan and I started taking maximum advantage of the BBC's free tickets, beginning with the recording of Armando Ianucci's Charm Offensive. About an hour of material to make a 28 minute show. I'd imagine the lawyers took most of it out.

October

Turned 0x20. Considered looking after myself a bit more, behaving a bit more responsibly. Don't remember much of the rest of the month.

November

A big celebration at work to mark the end of our two and a half year project, with roughly the right combination of drama, tears and gossip. And then came Hack Day, which was the most fun couple of days at work I've ever had. A lot of after work socialising and family and friends made it a great month, but I was getting a bit stretched by now. Smeared the car along the side of a skip, which settled the question of whether to get it through the MOT this year. Life will be infinitely duller without its unpredictable electrical surprises.

December

We moved into our new offices. I managed to sneak Mum in for a look around and she was very impressed; it is surprisingly appealing for a large open plan office and by and large everything was working, even for those of us in the vanguard. I miss Clerkenwell and creative mess. However, the commute is easier, we've finally got all the technical people in one place and I'm starting to get quite attached to some parts of the neighbourhood.

Marie and Richard's wedding was great fun; many old faces and some new ones. Christmas was the same relaxed family event, it always is. New Year's Eve was spent with good friends up for the night in London. For the rest of the month I struggled with minor illness of one kind or another.

My first Guardianwhack [General]
12:49pm GMT, 16 Nov 2008

It transpires that we currently only have one article about Wales and fashion. It's about Burberry.

Paul Carvill explained what the guardianwhack is on our Inside guardian.co.uk blog. I'm tagging my finds with guardianwhack in delicious. If you find any, please do the same.